The blessing that started with a rude encounter, police involvement, and a 60 day termination of lease notice

Longest title ever, sorry.  This story seems surreal to me, and I didn't know how to title it.  In order to set up the events that occurred this last week, I'll need to jump back to when my family moved into our current apartment.

We first moved into this complex for 2 reasons.  1st:  We needed a place to live, 2nd: we wanted to help a friend from our church out.  She wanted to live on the 3rd floor apartment, we wanted a bottom floor apartment, which is where she was currently living.  She was told by the apartment manager that there were no transfers.  When we came to look at the apartments and he showed us the 3rd floor, I had asked if we could possibly rent the bottom floor, and our friend could have the top.  He agreed, and we signed a year lease.  We were happy, our friend was ecstatic, things were good.

I run an in home daycare.  I watch a total of 3 children at a time.  I can legally watch 3 children without having my home licensed, and anymore than 3 is overwhelming for me.  I let the apartment manager know that the reason I wanted a bottom floor apartment is because I watch children.  I had asked where friends or parents should park when they come over, and I was told the spots marked "permit" were unassigned. 

After our lease was signed, I turned in our evaluation of the apartment, our inspection.  I made sure to mark every little thing, as we paid a hefty deposit, and I did not want to be responsible for anything that was already this way.  The manager was not happy with my evaluation, was very condescending, and talked very rudely to me, hinting that he wanted to give me a new sheet to have me do it over again.  It stayed as it was, and I told my husband that I didn't want to have to deal with the manager anymore, if there was something that needed to be discussed, I would prefer he did it.

Fast forward to last week, (after a few more incidents of rude encounters), a parent was dropping off their child to my home.  The parent parked in a spot marked "permit" and the manager of our apartments, who none of my friends had ever met, came and started yelling at him, saying he was allowed to park there and that he was going to get towed.  He was rudely told to ask the tenant who he was visiting where he was supposed to park.  Parent asked me, I said, "any spot marked permit", which he said was where he had parked.  He called the Apt. Manager and left him a voicemail stating that although his job may be a stressful one, there was no reason to be rude.  It was very unprofessional.

A couple hours later, manager came to my apartment and knocked (banged) loudly and repeatedly until I answered the door.  He told me that I needed to come to his office to work out this parking situation.  I asked if I could bring the 2 girls I was watching into his office.  He said "are you running a daycare center here?" I said I wouldn't call it a "center", I was watching 2 kids.  He then questioned whether or not I was qualified to be doing that.  He said he needed to show me the paper work I signed regarding the parking policy.  I said I had it, and I would work out something with the parents dropping their children off.  He then informed me he wasn't here to cater to my business, and that my friend was trying to get him fired, when he should have been thanking him, he had saved him 300 dollars.  I did look at our parking policy, which stated no one could park here unless they had a permit in their window.

My husband, Richard, came home, and I had filled him in on all that had transpired during the day.  He decided he'd go and talk to the manager and clarify further if there was anywhere for people to park, and to tell the manager he didn't think it was right the way he was talking to me, and his friend, and he had requested that I come to his office to talk about it, so Richard was going to go instead.  He got to the office (during office hours), and the manager let him in, was on the phone, and said "I'll have to call you back, mom, I have to take care of some business".  He then told my husband "thanks a lot for interrupting my phone call, I just found out my aunt died."  He said this with an angry tone.  My husband then stated he was sorry, but he needed to discuss what had happened this week.  For those who know my husband, he is an even keeled, peaceable, gentle person.  He is very reasonable, and likes to talk things out and he's a helper to everyone, and always wants the best for people.  He told the manager he didn't appreciate the way he had talked to his friend, and to me.  The manager then yelled at him to get out of his office, and Richard stood up and told him, firmly, but not angry, that he wasn't leaving until they discussed this.  The manager said "I'll call the police then!" and Richard said "go ahead".  So he did.  The police showed up, got both sides of the story of what was going on, and said there wasn't really anything for them to do there, so they left.  Richard came home, and relayed the story to me.  Shortly after the police left, a 60 day termination notice was put on our door.  We were moving (which we would have done termination notice or no at this point). 

Immediately, I was on Craigslist, For Rent website, and Apartment Living to see what was available.  There were a few places I put an email in to take a look at.  One was a duplex that was about 100 dollars more a month then where we are now, or an apartment that was about 10 dollars more a month, but 15 dollars more a month less than another lease here would be.  Both seemed like temporary solutions, and we knew we'd have to explain to the landlords about the manager here, and nothing seemed ideal. 

Thursday, the day after this happened, I sent a message to the daycare parents that, for the time being, it would be best to meet somewhere close to pick up their kids.  One parent said he was going to look into his mother in laws property, to see if she had something that might work for us.  His wife called a couple hours later, and set up to take us all to a place after work to show.  A 3 bedroom duplex, garage, and fenced backyard, all for the same price as the place we were at now.  I was randomly crying during the day, overwhelmed by this blessing. 

We looked at the place, and fell in love with it!  It's going to be perfect for us, and the owners are such a blessing!  We didn't even have time to stress out about where we were gonna go, God placed these beautiful friends in our lives, and they have been such a blessing!  Beyond anything we could have imagined!  This new place is in a neighborhood and next to a school, and within walking distance of our church! 

We will be out of here by June 30th, which is when we need to be.  We are so thankful for this awesome blessing! 

So this is our 24 hour adventure, that started out pretty rough, and ended up having a dream place :-) 

I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!

As some of you know, I work with children (in home childcare).  I hear and see a lot of funny things that make me smile just thinking about them.  I love reading peoples status about kids and some of the things they have said or done, they always make me smile.  Today, while dropping Elijah off at school, a mom was walking her little girl into class and she was holding a baby, who was looking at me over mom's shoulder. I smiled, and the little boy gave me the biggest grin, which made me smile even more.  Went to get my coffee, and I was just smiling.  Everyone that I smiled at, smiled back.  Instant return on your smile.  I probably even over use the smiley emoticon ;-)  I thought about how when you see someone in a car with a goofy grin on their face, and it makes you smile.  I have probably been that person that you chuckle at while you drive by (When "What Does The Fox Say" comes on in my van, we all let loose).  And I really like smiling!  Pass one on today!  

Here are 15 health benefits to smiling!  (via http://www.sunwarrior.com/news/15-health-benefits-of-smiling/)

1 – Lower Heart Rate – Smiling slows the heart and relaxes the body. This lets the heart work without overworking. People who smile and laugh often are less likely to develop heart disease. Smiling reduces blood pressure temporarily too.

2 – Reduce Stress – Stress is a common problem in the modern world that causes a myriad of health problems. Stress relief may be as simple as smiling a little more throughout the day. Smiling releases endorphins that counteract and diminish the stress hormones.

 3 – Better Mood – The endorphins do more than kick stress to the curb. Endorphins lift your mood. Feeling down? Slap a smile on your face, even if it isn’t entirely genuine at first, and turn your entire day around with something simple, easy to do, and free.

4 – Increase Productivity – Smiling has been shown to increase productivity while performing tasks. There’s truth to the “whistle while we work” mentality. This also explains why silly internet memes and pictures of cute animals can actually get people motivated and working harder after a few moments of smiling or laughter.

5 – Encourage Trust – Studies show that we are more trustful of others when they smile and smile genuinely. Trust is an important part of social health when dealing with people, whether they be loved ones or just acquaintances. Seems relationships are truly built on smiles.

6 – Produce Empathy – When we’re embarrassed or caught doing something questionable, often our first response is a smile. This instinct breaks the initial ice of embarrassment, promotes leniency in what others think of us, and engenders a sense of empathy since we’ve all experienced embarrassment and we want to smile along.

7 – Avoid Regret – We smile to avoid feeling bad for not smiling. Sounds weird and circular, but we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings so we smile when someone shares some story about their dog, even if we don’t really care. Studies show that if we don’t smile, we feel regret for failing to do so. This regret brings down our mood and boosts stress hormones.

8 – Kill Pain – Smiling and laughter both have been shown to lessen pain. They release endorphins that lift our moods, but many of these act as natural painkillers too.

9 – Increase Attention – Stress limits our perceptions and narrows our attention. Our body kicks into fight or flight mode where we can focus only on one of those things. Smiling counteracts this and widens our attention again, opening us back up to multitasking and insights that come from the fringes of our perception and our subconscious.

10 – Contagious – Around 50% of people smile back. This spreads the health benefits throughout those around you and it comes back to you several times as well.

11 – Build Attraction – Smiling makes people more attractive. This seems to be especially true for women. Men are more likely to approach a woman who smiles than one who simply makes eye contact while women aren’t necessarily drawn in by a smile alone.

12 – Earn Success – A smile can appear confident, self-assured, and on top of your work. Those who smile are more likely to earn more money through tips and raises. They are more readily approached with business ideas and offered advancements.

13 – Look Younger – Smiles naturally lift the face and in studies have shown to make people look younger, around 3 years younger on average.

14 – Longevity – The effects of a good smile extend past just the exterior good looks. People who smile more often live longer too, around 7 years longer than most according to one study. It releases stress, helps the heart, and much more to keep you healthy longer.

15 – Boost Immune System – Smiles help the body relax and this lets the immune system react more quickly and effectively against invaders.

I'm THAT mom...

It hit me today, I'm one of THOSE moms.  And it also hit me that I'm really ok with that.

My 3 boys (I'm counting the husband) are everything to me.  I love them, I even LIKE them.  I love spending time with them.  I have found that I sometimes am a little sad when Winter, Spring, or Summer break is over and they have to go back to school.  

My kids don't take the bus to school, I drive them.  My oldest had some anxiety issues in 4th grade, and the only way I could get him to school was to drive him.  So even after he overcame his anxiety, I still drove them, because it put less stress on both of them, and honestly, not having to get up earlier and stand out in the rain waiting for a bus is ok with me.  I like to sleep, so I will find a way to savor an extra five minutes.  

I used to walk them into class, but since they've gotten older, I walk my youngest, Elijah, into the school and he leaves with his class, while my oldest, Ethan, is fine with me dropping him off at the door.  When Elijah is leaving, he always gives me one last wave before going down the hallway, and we hold up the numbers 1-4-3 (I love you) before I leave, and he usually gives me a couple kisses goodbye.  When I drop Ethan off, I always wait and watch til he is in the building, and he knows that I do.  He doesn't look back and wave like Elijah does, but he knows that I'm there watching and praying over his day.

Why am I writing this?  Too much caffeine?  Not likely.  To exalt myself?  Hardly!  My kids don't have cell phones, cause they are usually with me, or they are somewhere that they can get a hold of me.  I don't let them watch movies that are rated R, and if they are PG-13 (or and 80's PG film), I prefer to watch it first before I subject them to it.  I don't let them have soda very often.  I don't let them play games that are rated M.  I have all their passwords for their emails and facebook account, and the passwords that they have on their tablets.  I monitor the history on their tablets and on our computer.  I limit their game time.  I watch shows that they watch (LOVE Spongebob).  This is just my families convictions.  These are things that we decided for OUR family.  I'm not writing this looking for applause (if you want to, you can), or for critiquing, or to tell everyone they need to follow this same set of rules.  Heck, I didn't even have these same set of rules growing up (sorry for the strong use of "heck", just trying to emphasize a point).  I wanted to write this to say, "This is me".   

I saw a little girl, about 3rd grade, walking to school by herself.  Busy street, raining, and she's walking alone.  I thought about getting on facebook for a "rant", and decided instead of focusing on that, focus on myself.  Ranting doesn't usually do me any good (unless I'm ranting about no coffee in the house, in which case some kind hearted person usually will lend me a cup ;-).  I think that in any area, a lot of times our human nature tends to want to point out external things that we think are wrong, and things that someone ELSE should change and do our perceived way.  Parenting is overwhelming, hard work.  Every time I think I've got this parenting thing down, I find I don't know anything.   We are all doing this with our own personal set of life experiences, with our own convictions, and our own set of values.  I am THAT mom.  You are THAT mom (or dad, grandparent, etc).  I ENCOURAGE you to be THAT.  We are all doing our best, keep pressing on!